My Hill City Perspective…

by Angela

When I was thinking about what I wanted to write in our first ever HC Extras, it didn’t take long for me to decide. I want to use this opportunity to write candidly about Hill City—the kind of place we are and strive to be and why. From my perspective.

Matt and I have learned so many lessons in the 4 ½ years since we planted Hill City. One of the most valuable, I believe, is that God wants our humility and authenticity. When we set out on this journey, we had our bags packed with humility, but what we had no clue we were missing was authenticity.

I’m not using that word like many do in church circles. Everyone these days touts their “authentic teaching” or “authentic worship.” And that’s not a bad thing. No one wants unauthentic worship or teaching. What I mean is that back in 2016, Matt and I had a concept of what church should look like. That concept was shaped from our past experiences, beginning with our earliest encounters with church, and patterned after current churches we admired—huge churches with huge attendances and well-known pastors. We listened and watched and tried to model ourselves after what they were doing. We relinquished our authenticity, who God made us, in a sincere attempt to do and be “better.”

And so we set off… running ourselves ragged, chasing our tails, trying to do all the things, trying to be all the things, trying to kill it in the church world, when we suddenly realized… the only thing we were killing was us.

I won’t speak for Matt. I can only tell you what I experienced from my view. But in early 2018, God began doing a work in Matt, though at the time, it did not feel like “a work.” As his wife, I can’t put into words the depths of pain I experienced both navigating those days myself and watching Matt struggle through debilitating anxiety, worthlessness, depression, fear, and hopelessness. He’s talked about it many times from stage, but even though I had a front row seat, I don’t think it’s possible for anyone, even me, to fully comprehend what he went through. To be honest, in the epicenter of the storm, I wasn’t sure any of us—me, Matt, our marriage, our family, the church—would make it through. In fact, I was pretty certain, one, if not all, would be destroyed. Instead, we emerged from that pitch black darkness with a new-found faith, strength, and perspective, and we were better for the fight. It was absolutely nothing short of a miracle.

So, what does the landscape look like on the other side of that storm? It looks a whole lot like freedom. To let the voice of Jesus drown out all the other voices… to forego the idea of modeling what the well-known and celebrated churches and church leaders are doing and to instead follow the Holy Spirit’s lead… to let go of the pressure of perfection and allow ourselves (and others) room to screw up and grow… to give opportunities to people who might not have those opportunities elsewhere… to focus in on our gifts and do the best we can with what we have and let the rest go…. Beautiful, inexplicable freedom.

So if I had to tell someone who didn’t know a thing about Hill City what Hill City is all about, I’d say this. We love people… ALL people… even when it’s hard, because we love Jesus, and that’s what He did. We are far from perfect and know it. Sometimes we laugh about it. Sometimes we pray about it. But all the time, we admit it. You’ll never see Matt putting himself in a spotlight. And if you listen in-person or online, you’re almost certain to hear him mispronounce a word or say something I want to punch him in the arm for. (I’ve given him a list of words he is not allowed to say from stage, but he rarely abides by it.) He will probably always teach in a hat and hoodie despite my objections because he wants everyone who walks in the doors to immediately feel at ease. Matt is unapologetically Matt, and while it is beautiful and rare, it’s not glamorous, and sometimes not popular. Nothing is hidden with him. Nothing is artificial, dressed up, or a reproduction, and He leads Hill City in the exact same way.

We are perhaps even more determined to do what we were called to do for Jesus than when we set sail back in 2016. The difference is, we row the way we know—not the way we’ve seen others row. Our commitment is not to tradition or norms or expectations. It is to true connection with people and helping them find true connection with Jesus. Our obligation is to listen and obey when the Holy Spirit speaks, and sometimes that means a last minute (second) change of plans or even a punt, but we allow room for it these days and don’t get bent out of shape when it happens because we know none of this is about us anyway.

Our commitment is not to tradition or norms or expectations. It is to true connection with people and helping them find true connection with Jesus.

If I can be perfectly honest, I still cringe when things don’t go “like clockwork.” I like clockwork. I like perfection. A lot. I like coloring inside the lines, and I know that the way we do things many times looks a lot like coloring outside the lines. I also know sometimes that can make the “churched” uncomfortable and maybe even a bit leery. (Please understand I’m very much in the “churched” category myself and do not use that term brusquely.) But what I can say is this… from my experience, if you find yourself really comfortable with things the way things are, you might need to give coloring outside the lines a shot. I’m convinced that’s where Jesus is because that’s where the people who need Him most can be found.

So, my challenge to you is to ROW THE WAY YOU KNOW! You might not feel equipped to do the work out in these waters He’s called you to, but you ARE. Be certain you ARE! Cheer for the other sailors all around you, never disparage their methods, but row that boat of yours with your eyes set on Him and no one else. And don’t dare be afraid when the waves grow tall. That’s where Jesus is.